Posts
BisdakPlanet Foundation aims to help our less fortunate “kababayans” and is dedicated to helping the Filipino children.
All of us were once innocent little creatures. Reminiscing the past, our childhood years always bring smile and gladness in our hearts. We have played all sorts of games to our hearts’ content, free from worries and doubts of the future. School had been both our learning institution and playground.
It is therefore a privilege to become part of this endeavor in making these children, these Filipino children, experience the warmth of childhood we once enjoyed by bringing to them some gifts we could share.
Be involved. Let’s take pleasure in making their journey to school a happy one.
Join us as we embrace the child in us - free spirited and full of joy by sharing and helping.
RSS Feed (xml)
Are you intrigued if I am an adopted child? Let me tell you a story…
One day a Cebuana (a Filipina who lives in Cebu, Philippines) came to Manila. She met Manileño, to cut the story short they become lovers. Through their so-called love to each other, Cebuana becomes pregnant. When she becomes pregnant Manileño leave her. Huh! That is what we called love now a days. She bears the child for nine months.
When the time Cebuana labors her child she decided to go back to Cebu but minus the child. She wanted it to be adopted by somebody. Luckily one of the staff nurse has a heart of gold, who is also carrying a child at that time adopt the beautiful child.
That story is already 24 years ago. That child right now is also bearing another child. She couldn’t accept the reality that she’s adopted. I can’t blame her because she’s been loved by her foster parents. Treated well, given a proper education, clothing, etc.
She couldn’t tell her friends the truth.
Now I would like to give me your opinion and advice to the following question below:
If you are the friend of that child, will you be hurt because she doesn’t tell you the truth?
Are you going to confront her?
If you are that child, are you going to find your biological parents (Cebuana and Manileño)?
Manigong Bagong Taon 2011
1 year ago
19 comments:
I would not be hurt because that is her decision not to tell the truth. Yes i would comfort her and try to be the best friend i could. As for me if i was told i was adopted i would want to know who my real parents were and why they did that but that is just me. Thanks for doing the tag sweet friend you rock.
I'm not an adopted child, so I am not in the best position to answer. But I am trying to fit into the shoes of one.
I had to clarify this:
- Did her foster parents tried to hide the truth about her origins? I asked this because it was mentioned that she could not accept the reality that she was adopted.
I think that child has to grow up - she had the right ask this question from her foster parents: Why did you not tell the truth in the first place?
Assuming this...
The most likely reason is often a good one - more often, they could not find the right time to break this truth.
I've often read that adopted children often has this empty space in their heart - a longing for them to see their biological parents - even if they are well taken cared of. I think her foster parents should give in to this, and help her find these persons.
As for friends - she should not be ashamed to tell this truth. True friends would still stick to her. I don't think this is a big deal to them. They may be a big help in finding those biological parents.
That girl is 24, and would probably have friends a few years above and below that age. I don't think her friends would get hurt with this news.
it's a matter of time. when that adopted child chooses not to tell it to her friends, it's her own decision. the most important thing is for that adopted "now lady" to be grateful to her fostered parents. if there is a need to search for her real parents, it's just proper to do the searching. but if there's none, let it be. :) the foster parents deserve the adopted child's gratitude all her life. :)
finding your roots is but natural c: i once read this wonderful words in chicken soup for your soul:
(in school)
little girl:I am Adopted.
teacher: what is the difference?
l.girl: my 1st mom - i was born in her tummy
my2nd mom - i grew in her heart c:
you were blessed with too moms c: one to carry you the other to love and nurture you c: love your baby the way you were brought up c: with LOVE c:
it's okay to tell your friends the closest ones they would love and respect you more if you would explain to them your side and tell them what you feel about it c:
i would be hurt if you delayed the truth if i were your friend but would understand and love you more if you explain it to me c:
God bless you and your baby c:
if i would be the friend, it won't matter whether she hides from me the truth or not. thats her decision to make. i just think that friendship should never be measured. when you consider somebody your friend, you should be able to stand by her whatever the consequences might be. in the same way that she should face the truth somehow, someday about her whole being considering that she is now heavy with her own child. the cycle will eventually catch up with her and somehow she should be ready for the time that her own child asks her questions regarding his/her own lolo & lola. as to the biological father & mother; i really wouldn't bother looking for them NOW if i am your friend, what for? they didn't even bother to look for me so why would i even waste my time to go look for them. sila may manubag sa Ginoo sa ila gibuhat sa ako. so, para sa ako, why bother? btw, thanks for the suggestion re my eldest... and hey! if the hugs and the kisses worked on somebody esp on a lady like you, i just might try them more. why more? because i already am a kissing ang hugging father to my children, one that i never get to experience with my own mom & dad and now that i have my own kids, i promised to myself that i will be more loving and caring to them. not a day passes that i forget to hug & kiss them and tell them how much i love them. nasobrahan siguro busa ingon ana na ako eldest. i just hope not.
so there! thanks again 'day... gotta run, ciao!
Well although it started as a story I knew it was a true situation!
My mother is adopted, and although I'm not I was bought up by my father from the age of 9, my mother simply cut all ties. It wasn't until I was 36 that I got to see her again, including my Bother and Sister (32 & 38 at the time). From this experience I can put my hand on my heart and say No, I wouldn't be hurt and yes I would confront my Friend. although confront is a hash word or point of view for something that is so delicate, otherwise lets be honest, you wouldn't be a friend!
Hi Sam, If they are real friends, they will understand her situation. As for finding her biological parents, that is a tough one. If it is for medical reason (she wants to know their medical history) then she should do it.
If it's for other reasons, then she should be prepared to either be disappointed or be pleasantly surprised. She should keep in mind who her real parents are, the other couple are just sperm and egg donors. Just my opinion. Have a nice weekend Sam :)
Hi Sam,
If I'm the friend, I won't get hurt that she didn't tell me the truth about her being adopted. It's her life and her decision and as a friend I should respect that.
I'm not an adopted child but I am, I would possibly seek for my biological parents just to know them. I would be grateful to my foster parents for the love and care they have given. Will I get mad at my biological parents for giving me away? that I can't answer. Maybe yes, maybe no.
Happy weekend sis :]
me, I won't get hurt. I would understand her. I am not also an adopted child so I won't know whar her real reasons for hiding it from me. The least thing I can do to make her feel better about her situation is to make her accepted and that it don't matter to me if she'a a biological child of her parents or adopted.
Bill: It's not actually hurting on my side. I love her more compare before.
Gem: It was revealed to her when she was 8 years old. The foster parents explained why the child and her sister has the same age. After they told it to her, it was the last conversation about that topic. As a friend, that is the only question on my mind "why she's hiding it from us?" We love her so much... through thick and thin, for better and worse. (wedding!!! hehehe)
Jonrez: We had a movie marathon last night. I don't have the guts to ask her. I would like to program myself that she's going to tell us someday. It doesn't matter how many years would take as long as we are here for her. I hope she'll open up to us so that she's going to read your advice. "the foster parents deserve the adopted child's gratitude all her life"
Iceah: Thank you for the message. That would be my next post. Regarding the art of bravery of the two women in this child. We're not hurt because she's delaying the truth from us. We love her more.
Bongflo: I think she would agree with you. Why bother to look for her biological parents? They don't even bother to look for her.
Scott: Yes it's a true story indeed. Huh! that is a very straight forward suggestion. I saw her yesterday, she just overcome a bleeding months. So more often we would like to take care of her than pressuring her to tell us the truth. I think there is a proper timing for that matter. Anyway we're willing to wait right now.
Mama thanks. I really hope she could read this neither advices nor opinions.
Thanks Sis Twinks... I hope if my friend will decide to look for them she'll not be mad. Just be grateful anyway as Mama said there are just a sperm and egg donor... hehehe
You too sis... enjoy the rest of the week.
Sis, we're going to find out if she has the guts to tell us the truth. As a friend, it really desn't matter to us if she's adopted. We love her so much. We're always here to stand and fight for her.
To everyone who commented... thank you for giving your neither your opinion or advices. Highly appreciated guys!!!
Hi Sam I hope your weekend is going well. I would appreciate if you come check out my new Health site and give me your oppinion. I have already added you to the site and hope you will add that one to your site also. Take care.
Sure Bill! I will check it out. I have a wonderful weekend. I hope you too...
That would be a test of friendship then. Maybe she has a perfectly valid reason for not telling it right away.
Gem: I hope she has a valid reason to us. I wanted to confront her so that she will know that we are here for her no matter what. but it will compromise her situation. That's why i'm writing this, one way of releasing it.
Could she be waiting for "the right time to tell"?
There are plenty of people who do that.
The way I look at it, she wouldn't tell us. As what we know, even her age she makes it older. Huh! As far as I remember, she even hides to me the relationship of her bf before which is her husband right now. When I confronted her that is the only time she told me.
So I guess we are the one who will wait for her. When that time comes I'll tell her what I know.
Sometimes I don't like this gift. No matter what I do I'd still know the fact. What if I didn't know the truth behind her? I shouldn't be reacting this way.
I could not understand why she hides it even from those who are closest to her.
I get the impression that she's your very very close friend who means a lot to you. You get those strong reactions.
Maybe it's her innermost fear. I think she fears something - rejection? A good psychologist or counselor might help sort that for you.
She means a lot to me. That one of our point of my friend. She needs to tell us the truth so that she's not holding the fear inside.
Post a Comment